Her Royal Rumpness 

Every toddler has a favorite activity, like playing with trains or jumping on the bed or shrieking while turning in circles. I have observed closely and determined what Dubsie’s favorite activity is. She craves a good sit.

royal rumpness

The princess in her many states of repose.

The first thing she does upon entering a room is to scope out the best spot to park her ample buttocks. Usually it’s the couch. She attacks it frontally, flinging her arms and tummy onto the cushions for traction and then swinging a leg up. Having expended all that gymnastic effort, it’s time to take a load off. She finds a spot, not by the arm rest or quite in the middle, but just off to the side, usually in the most plump part of a cushion, and settles in, with posture erect and her legs crossed at the ankles.

But the task is only half-done. Her next job is to find you a place to sit. “Sit!” she’ll say. “You sit right there,” and points to another piece of furniture, a rocker or a comfortable settee perhaps, so you two can relax and catch up. If you comply, she rewards you with a satisfied grin.

A sure way to annoy her is to mess with the assigned seating. Once we had a group of eight people over for brunch and Dubsie presided from her high chair at the foot of the table. When the eating was done, people got up to drop off their plates and came back to mingle with people not their seat mates. Dubsie found this intolerable. “No, Guha, sit!” she barked at her 10-year-old cousin, and pointed to his old seat across the table. But then her grandfather, Thatha — her own grandfather! — plopped himself down in Guha’s chair, and that got her really flummoxed. “No, Thatha! You sit there!” she yelled, pointing to Thatha’s old seat.

Once we realized how annoyed she was by musical chairs, we switched seats at random, just to see her get worked up.

Dubsie’s favorite station at the playground is the swing, where she can chill out and be pushed all the live long day. She won’t climb the stairs if she can instead situate her royal rumpness in the crook of Daddy’s arm. One would call it laziness if it weren’t accompanied by such delight.

I would prefer she be more active, but who am I to say? Since she is already getting so much practice at it, maybe one day she’ll be telling a jury to please be seated.

 

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